Letting Go

42 years old has been a little (no, a lot) disconcerting in the body image department. I am not exaggerating or kidding when I say that one day I could control my weight by what I ate and the very next day no matter what I ate or how much I exercised, my weight went up by 5 pounds and would not budge. I can't express how frustrating this has been for me. Body image has always been something that I'm very aware of. I'm short (5'1"), so I've always kept a pretty tight rein on it. But I've also always been able to do this. Now, it's just not working. Not only that, my weight has shifted weirdly. I now have a poochy stomach, and, well it's just weird.

So, I'm learning to let go and come to grips with it. I don't even know if I have any kind of control on my weight or not. If I choose to eat wisely will it at least keep the weight gain at some kind of bay, or does it not even matter. Because if I'm eating fruits, vegetables, and whole grains when I could be eating a cupcake, I'm going to be a little steamed. If I'm giving up pasta for nothing, then I'm about to say, who cares?

I ask myself, why do I care? I'm beyond the dating days. I truly feel like those days are gone for me. And I might just be totally okay with that. I think I've talked before how freeing that is to me. And even if I was still interested in attracting the opposite sex, do men really like someone who's rounder, softer? You've got me.

How many other women are dealing with this?