Friday, January 21, 2011

Why Am I Frustrated

I took my kids to my son's pinewood derby race tonight. This should have probably been a fun evening but ended up being a frustrating night. First of all, it was a cub scout event. I hate to say it, but most of the time this is very boring to me. I take my son, because he's in it. But I usually leave this to his father, because it's not my thing. But his dad was out of town tonight, so I decided I would take my son.

My son and my daughter both made a car with their dad. Supposedly the cars were fine. They just needed to be weighed to make sure that they qualified. Luckily, that part was taken care of. My dad took them to weigh the cars. Thank goodness, because my brain literally, and I am not exaggerating, cannot think in that mechanical way. It's not pretty when I try to put anything together. It never works. But, I forgot to add that before they went to weigh the cars, my son had taken his car out, raced it across my living room floor, slamming it into the baseboard. I don't know if the wheel was not put on correctly or if he just slammed the dickens out of it, but the wheel fell off. I was horrified. I could not get it back on. So, I sent it with my dad, hoping he could get it on. I guess he could not, because when they came back from the weighing it had been decided that my son and daughter would "share" my daughter's car. In other words, they would enter my daughter's car under my son's name. Any awards would be given to my son, but my daughter would get to share the trophy.

Let me say that this was a horrible idea. Sometimes my dad does not think. Actually, a lot of times when it comes to kids, he does not think. I love him, bless his heart, I really appreciate that he helped me out, but he does not think. When the wheel would not fit back on, he probably should have said, even though my son would have been upset, that Samuel was not going to be able to race. Consequently, Sofie would not be able to race either. If I'd known he would not be able to get the wheel on, I would have said that to them before they even left for the weighing. Sharing a car does not work with nine year old twins.

So, even though my son did not place for speed, he won Most Patriotic Car. Or rather, I should say that my daughter won. Even though she had agreed to be generous, she also wanted some of the glory, and why shouldn't she? She actually did win. So, as we're leaving the derby, I'm stuck with two kids arguing over who is going to have the car and trophy in their room tonight. And frankly, I don't know what to do. I'm stumped, I see both sides. And I'm frustrated because I don't know what to do, and I don't have anyone else to turn to. There is no partner to say, "What should we do with these arguing kids?" Talk about frustration. So I ended up telling them both to be quiet, that I would keep the car and trophy tonight, and to go up and get the pajamas on and go to bed. Not my best parenting moment.

It's hard. I try to be perfect parent. I know that's not really possible, but I always give the 110 % try. I when I don't hit it or when I miss it by so much, it is frustrating. It could really get me on a downward spiral, thinking of all the things I don't have and all the things that I am not.

The other side of this coin is that I spent two and half hours in a gymnasium bored out of my gourd, surrounded by a lot of nerdy cub scout fathers and their wives who think that they're still "all that" when they are so not "all that". I can't tell if they were popular in high school and think that they're still there, or they weren't popular in high school and are trying to live out that popularity now. But they make me crazy. It's all I can do to attend a function and have to be near them. I was not interested in this when I was in high school, I really don't want to be around it now. My kids' school is really bad with the cliquey moms. So that definitely did not help my mood.

As I told my daughter, I'm ready for this day to be over and start a new one tomorrow!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Pioneer Woman

The snow has finally arrived in KC! And thankfully, our school district called a snow day. I felt like , what my mom used to call, a pioneer woman. I got out the shovel and shoveled my entire drive not once, but twice. I admit, I am wiped out now; but, what a feeling! It is so liberating to take care of myself and to do what needs to be done. I love being an independent woman. It is such a liberating feeling to know I can do these things. I used to feel like the damsel in distress, always wanting someone to take care of me. But I am now evolved into... a pioneer woman.