Thursday, March 31, 2011
Today I left school with a smile on my face, and this was after having 2 block classes of 8th graders. 8th graders do not bring a smile to my face, particularly this class. Maybe it's because testing is almost over, or that I do not feel the pressure anymore. But I was able to be loose enough to actually meet on the same plain as these 8th graders. We have not been simpatico this year. I have felt like I have just had to be constantly on them from day one. I could not even teach, because they were so out of control, so immature. I think they were still immature today, but for some reason I felt really in control. Their inane behavior did not affect or upset me. In my study hall, the day was ended perfectly when one student was talking about the song Friday by Rebecca Black or Taylor, I can't remember. I said I didn't know who this was. He wanted me to pull it up on Youtube. I did and played it through the projector. And all of the kids started singing and dancing to this song. It was adorable. These are the moments I love. I would like to be the kind of teacher that could always reach this plane of connectedness. It's difficult when you really need them to learn about text structures, but still possible I think. Something to strive for, but for now I'll take the smile on my face. :)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
So, I'm rushing around this morning-signing permission forms, packing lunches, giving hugs and kisses, refereeing between two almost ten-year olds who get some kind of satisfaction from teasing each other, spritzing down my son's hair with water because he's growing it out and in the morning it sticks out in all kinds of directions, hearing my son complain about the spider that is on the ceiling of his bathroom afraid that it's going to drop on him but I'm afraid to go in and kill it so I tell him to go in and tough it out that if the spider hasn't moved yet it's not going to (and it didn't), signing planners, making my own lunch, putting Netflix in the mail (because right now I'm addicted to 7th Heaven and I won't get to watch the next season unless it gets in the mail), getting everybody out the door and into the car. We are almost to the kids' school and I look in my rear view mirror and realize I have not brushed my hair! I announce this to the kids, and they look at me like I'm crazy, and maybe I have actually gone to that place. I'm heading to go teach middle school after dropping them off, so I can't go back. But luckily, ever resourceful, I remember the pink, plastic doll's brush in my glove compartment and save my sanity and dignity (even though my kids are still looking at me like I've just lost my mind. I know better)!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
I am in a gray mode. Spring is joyous and full of anticipation, but it is also just down and out wearing! It's a stressful time of year. At school, coming back from spring break means coming back to state assessments, feeling like what I do is not good enough. I don't ever receive praise as a teacher, rarely from parents, never from students, and I can't think of a time from my principal. Assessments make me feel like I can see the end of the race, but can never hit the mark. If I did hit the mark last year, this year the mark is higher, and I have different kids. So, it's not as if I can build upon what I did last year. It's pretty demoralizing. Also, the cuts that are going on are disheartening. I do feel like I've missed the cuts. I'll know in April. I've been five years at my school, and I think I just missed the line where cut offs seem to be happening. But until I know, I swear I have and probably will continue to have nightmares. The last drainer is 8th graders. Disrespect. I don't think I need to say more.
This is also an expensive time of the year. My twins were born in April. They will be ten this year. That means two birthday parties. It's not cheap. Thank goodness for income tax refunds!
And the Kansas weather! It is gray! And it is spitting snow! Come on, get with the program!